Archive for May, 2010

Seriously?

Monday, May 31st, 2010

I worked the door at Contour this weekend (and did a little BDH promoting, I’m not gonna lie!). When my relief cashier showed up, we made some idle chit-chat, which usually involves the topic of employment. It’s true, one can’t support herself on free club admission alone.

She: “I just got off work and changed clothes at McDonald’s.”

Me: “Ha, that’s how it goes sometimes. Where do you work?”

She: [Some restaurant nearby.] “What about you?”

Me: (proudly displaying my fantastic new t-shirt) “I drive the Barbie Dream Hearse. It’s a hearse that I turned into a limo.”

She: “A what?”

Me: “A hearse.”

She: “What’s a hearse?”

Me: (pointing to the long, white car on my shirt) “This.”

She: (still confused) “Oh.”

I’m pretty sure she hadn’t deduced that it’s a car for dead people. If you can make it to your early twenties without knowing they exist, I probably shouldn’t be the first person to break the news.

Una Mas

Sunday, May 30th, 2010

Men’s t-shirt in black and charcoal gray.

Most people seem to get the joke… on some level. Buy one!

Hurr, I Have Shurrts

Saturday, May 29th, 2010

I may not be online as often, but old memes die hard.

Anyway, if you didn’t see it on the facebook, I have new t-shirts for sale in men’s and women’s sizes. Since I’m a pro at putting the cart before the horse (or the Kat before the Hearse, heh), I have hastily created an online store for your purchasing pleasure. I received more out-of-state feedback than I expected, which is fantastic!

But Seattle, you know where to find me. I know getting excited about things is so 20 years ago, but then again so is my car. So if you can’t ride Barbie, WEAR Barbie. Shirts are only $15!

I was so stoked about this shipment coming in, I modeled a couple of t-shirts in my bathroom yesterday. Who needs a fancy-schmancy camera anyway? Or a photographer… or lighting… or makeup… or… pants.

Men’s (also in charcoal gray):

Women’s (also in black):

More Like What You Were Expecting?

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

Barbie hummer sighting in Austin, Texas! After unabashedly stalking it through the ridiculously ritzy Domain shopping center, I gave up trying to meet its owner in the parking lot and just made my friend take a picture. (By the way, I’m in Austin! Details at 11.)

A common misunderstanding I encounter often is that the Barbie Dream Hearse is pink. I don’t know why everyone wants/expects her to be pink. Not everything Barbie touches has to be pink. When I was a kid, I had a white Barbie Jeep and a yellow convertible. Okay, I also had a hot pink T-top Camaro. So one out of three, 33 percent. I guess that’s about the same proportion of people who hear about me, know about the car, and exclaim, “You’re the girl with the pink hearse!”

I bought my car in excellent condition with no need for a paint job. Since it’s white, I have to work really hard to keep it looking bright and clean. Forgive me if I sound “intense” when I correct you, but I’m going to.

What’s Been Going On

Friday, May 21st, 2010

As far as this site is concerned, I’ve been suffering from delusions of grandeur. I keep thinking I can still be the internet demon you know and love while my mobile dance card continues filling up. I’ve been having a great time driving Barbie this month, but you wouldn’t know it unless you’re like the folks in the Seattle area pinging me with random sightings on Facebook. (I enjoy reading those, by the way. Keep ’em comin’!)

In addition to writing about good times and fun, I also want to add a bar of links to the top of my site for easier navigation and to have the homepage redirect to an intro about me and the car instead of this news feed. You wouldn’t believe how fucking hard that is to communicate to someone. If I sit down and mess with it myself, it’ll get done, but it’ll take me longer than someone who does this for a living. And yet, I don’t really feel like paying $400 for a single navbar addition to a stripped-down version of my current site.

So, quick info-seekers, I apologize. For now, you’re getting a blog… an infrequently updated blog these days. I apologize for that too.

Here’s some stuff that happened:

SEAF
I drove VIP guests to the Artists’ Reception of the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. To sum it up, being a sponsor was FUN, and it was even sweeter because I got to bring some friends along. I managed to post a few photos between dressing up to attend the event for the next two nights. On Saturday, I was interviewed by a thin black man in drag named Ronaldo for a SEAF compilation video. Stay tuned to see how that went. I’m on pins and needles… and the pain is turning me on, dammit!

Barbie Dream Bike
I used the tips I made from driving SEAF guests to buy a used pink and white Kula bike from Belltown Pull Apart. If you’d rather pedal than put your feet up, I highly recommend talking to these guys. They customized my bike, and I bet they’ll do it for you too! Tell ’em Barbie sent ya!

Barbie Dream Condo
That’s right, I’m moving on up… the Hill. I came thisclose to moving to Capitol Hill, but First Hill is the devil I know. Fortunately, there’s more up there than the hell hole I survived in 2008, and I am happy to say my new place has everything, including an extra-long parking spot for Barbie! I don’t get three parking spasses like my old garage, but I’m also not paying through the nose to park in Belltown, so I’m pretty stoked about that.

Changing the Oil
Flushing out Barbie was long overdue, I’m embarrassed to admit. Thankfully, the guys at Zahntech Automotive were happy to help. I got the afterhours ringside special to see how it was all done. I hadn’t seen the underside of my car before and appreciated getting a rundown on the different parts I was looking at.

Visiting Vashon
One of the best things about living in Seattle is being able to drive onto a ferry and drive through one of its many neighboring islands in under an hour. Vashon is the home of the lead docent at SEAF, my initial cold contact that started the whole thing. She and I were in search of hearse curtains, but we ended up finding random stuff for my house and running into (figuratively!) a friend of hers who drives Vashon’s own version of the Barbie Dream Hearse. It’s a laid-back, no-frills ride home for the drunks, operated by a lady at least twice as cool as I am. That’s island life!

Auburn Wine and Caviar Company
I had a great time promoting my car at this diamond in the rough. The owner, Jim, is another friend made through SEAF, and I’d be happy to offer discounts to Seattlites wanting to visit his shop.

Chris Petty and Gramps Benefit Bash
Like I needed another excuse to hang my back end out of a tiny curbside space in front of the Comet! A bad car accident left Chris temporarily wheelchair-bound, so we got to test Barbie’s handicap accessibility. With a little help from my new pal Hilary, she passed with flying colors!

Here’s what’s coming up:

T-shirts
Mens and womens! Large and small! Goofy and serious! Please buy one! The womens shirts have the Barbie star logo featured on my Facebook fan page. The mens shirts are black with the regular logo (the banner on this site) and a catchy slogan that’s lewd if you’re lucky.

Flyers
Eli took a break from being an awesome new mom and was an awesome old friend for knocking this one out for me. They’re being printed now. I can’t wait to paper the town with these!

Lights
I’m getting an underbody kit and some rope lighting for the interior rear cabin thanks to Justin at Oznium.com. These will definitely brighten things up a little!

Corey’s Birthday
The new Evo in an old limo… that’s how we roll.

Fashion Show
I’ll be sponsoring the “Black” Rocker Diva Fashion Show and gracing the catwalk as a model. What could possibly go wrong? (I’m guessing they’ll supply the first two rows of the audience with raincoats, in case I get all Gallagher with it.)

Movie
The Barbie Dream Hearse has been asked to take part in the revelry of a group of marathon beer-drinkers, and I’m more than happy to come out and play. I’m not sure where we’re going or what we’re doing, but hey, neither are they.

Short Summary: The Suitcase Challenge is a documentary that follows five friends as they proceed to drink 24 beers EACH within 24 hours. While there can be only one winner, there can be millions of antics. This feature-length documentary features an array of Seattle icons including the Morphsuit Dancers and the Fremont Solstice Parade and Festival, not to mention a soon-to-be-named scooter gang.

Pictures
“Hey Kat, you know what you should do? You should take some pictures of yourself with the car.” This advice never stops being great. Please also advise a photographer to shoot me for free, the weather to be perfect, my skin to be flawless, my hair to be full and shiny, and my body to remain a size six. When those stars are aligned, you’ll be seeing quite a bit more of this star. (I’m talking about me.)

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Okay, that’s a lot of stuff, and I know I forgot something. I also have some car pictures that need to be uploaded, sized, and shooped before they’re posted. If you made it this far, thanks for reading, and here’s hoping June allots me a tad more time to break up my updates into more delectable, digestible morsels!