Archive for July, 2010

The BDH Is Ready for Her Close-Up… Wait, You Better Stand Back

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

Amidst the Crypticonning and party-driving, the Barbie Dream Hearse made a brief appearance in a film by Shawn Telford called “The Suitcase Challenge”. It’s about a group of friends reunited to drink 24 beers in 24 hours, stopping for hijinx at various Seattle landmarks throughout the day.

I hightailed it downtown from Crypticon at around 6pm for the shoot, and the guys were already deep in the throes of intoxication. The cowboys and morphs, however, were sober (most of them anyway) and fun to talk to while I waited for my next driving assignment.

We ended up at the old Ranier brewery on the south end of town. It wasn’t a long trip by any means, but with nearly a dozen people in the car, three of whom seemed drunk enough to toss their cookies, it was a perfectly reasonable distance. I’m happy to report that everyone made it there in one piece, and I’d like to send a special thanks to whoever left the pair of wrap-around mirror sunglasses in the back. They go great with my patterned Jams and Reebok high-tops!

The shoot came with its own photographer; I pulled some of his best ones from my segment and added them to my album. If you feel like looking at 100 more photos of me making odd faces, you can do that here.

La Dignidad

Sunday, July 11th, 2010

When I tell people I drive a hearse, they sometimes ask if I have a casket. (I don’t.) If you haven’t heard of the Barbie Dream Hearse before, this is actually not a stupid question. It’s reasonable to assume that a hearse, even when used for show, might come with a casket. And it looks like the Mexicans don’t want to stop there.

Just think, if I’d bought a minivan instead, I could have had it all!

Barbieslist Missed Connection

Saturday, July 10th, 2010

To the guy smirking at me while we waited for the light to change on Broadway and Madison:

If I can’t enjoy my ridiculously booming sound system in my ridiculously large/old/quirky vehicle by singing along with Soul Asylum’s cover of “Sexual Healing” at the top of my lungs, who will?

I Have Surrendered to the Foosbook

Friday, July 9th, 2010

The allure of sending updates in pictures and snippets is just too great. And with summer in full swing, Barbie business is ramping up. I just wish I had more hours in the day to tell my cool stories, brah.


I made two airport runs on a Friday afternoon. Seatac to Everett and back. Twice. The real fuck of it: Californians. I used to question Seattle’s California hate, but I’m starting to understand it now. Actually, I’m embracing it.

ANYWAY, once I got set up at the event, I met some fabulous folks. I saw amazing amounts of creativity, mostly in the form of cool costumes and makeup:

And also some great photographers:

Last but not least, I met Chuckles DeClown, who… I… he really… yeah. I don’t know what to say. We hit it off though, and we shot a commercial together. Good (read: strange) times.

Red, White, and Dead Zombie Walk

I tried to do my own makeup for this and failed miserably. At one point, my eyes had soaked up so much black eyeliner, it had gotten into my nasal duct and the evidence was written on the tissue in black and green. That’s right, I’m so goth my snot is black! I’m hardcore!

Thus, I was a couple of hours late, but then again, so was the festival. Since I couldn’t get in touch with the organizers after multiple tries, I assumed I would just park outside the main entrance. However, disorganization worked in my favor for once and I ended up with a sweet spot by the stage, where I could promote the hell out of Barbie and watch my friend David play host to several thousand of the undead. Here we are taking a duck break:

If you’re on the Foosbook, you may have noticed my whirlwind week-long marriage to a sword-making zombie-killer. He was at the zombie walk too (of course), playing kind of a morbid Pied Piper for the those in search of brains. Ever the elusive one, here are his remains on my face. Who’s the zombie killa now!?

My hearse-partner in crime Adam brought his coach, along with an assortment of nerf guns and body parts. Here I am, suited up and ready for action:

I was also reunited with my favorite clown Chuck whose fangs are a lot sharper and attention-grabbing when they’re puncturing my leg.

Although the event was fantastic because I got to see a bunch of people I wanted to see, and I got to meet some new folks spearheading the initiative to keep this world a weird and wonderful place, it lent itself to a couple of problems.

First, whoever thought it would be funny to splatter blood all over my white paint and vinyl top just so you could get a cool picture in front of it, you need to die a second death. This is my only vehicle and the focus of my business. Even drooling, flesh-eating zombies are raised to have better manners.

Second, whoever got me sick last weekend should go ahead and die too. I stayed in for the 4th of July, blowing my nose and telling everyone to leave me alone. I spent all day Tuesday in meetings with a nasty head cold, taking breaks to remove fake blood from a 22-foot-long car with mild soap and elbow grease before the sun baked it in.

The day before, I drove to a friend’s barbecue and didn’t realize the entire passenger side of my car was splattered with blood until I got there. That explains the weirder-than-normal looks I was getting from folks on the street.

When I got home, I happened to pull into my space at the same time as my neighbor was arriving home. I live in a condo, but if I had a house, I’d be one of those neighbors with an overgrown lawn and cars parked all over the street because my garage was too full of crap to fit them. So when my nice Prius-driving neighbor pulled in next to my giant, blood-splattered hearse with a disassembled mountain bike and large dog crate in front of it, I had to say something.

“I just wanted to say that I realize everything about this is offensive, and I apologize.”

She laughed and said it was fine, and we had a nice conversation. Her name is Kat, too.

I’ve encountered quite a few people in the parking garage (all of whom live in the building) wanting to see my car. I’m surprised to find people so happy about having it there. I’m not out to piss people off, but it seems to be a byproduct of everything I do that’s fun.

However, I talked to one girl awhile back who said she saw an article about me in a magazine. That would have been cool, except I’ve only given one interview and it was done on video at Crypticon. So that’s a little weird.