Archive for September, 2012

Note to Visitors

Saturday, September 15th, 2012

A little backstory: Pike Place Market is a big tourist attraction in Seattle. It is situated between our downtown area and the waterfront. The market spans a little three-block street, which for some reason is open to thru-traffic. It is also open to pedestrians, cyclists, vendor tents, weird dudes with snakes, street performers, and every other thing that makes driving impossible. You’re not going to score a killer spot in front of the first Starbucks or a waterfront with thousands of visitors a day. Don’t even try. Just don’t.

Here’s a map of the street on which no one should ever drive:

Thank you for your attention.

More than a Vehicle

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

Damn skippy! The wookie was a great find at GeekGirlCon and I know he’d fit in the back of the hearse, but this little suction-cupped masterpiece/daily affirmation probably travels better.

Purchased from Ugly Baby Shower Art.

Labor Day Fun

Tuesday, September 4th, 2012

With PAX, Bumbershoot, and UW’s opening game going on, Labor Day weekend is already a crazy time in Seattle. Seeing the throngs of people on the streets near these events, you’d think the rest of the town would be subtly doing their own thing.

Nope! My Friday night consisted of driving a bachelor party (yes, boys are allowed) around downtown. Fortunately for them, I didn’t have my camera, so their illustrious activities can remain a mystery.

Saturday started off with a (mostly) girls’ night out.

The night ended with an epic wedding in Sammamish and the first-ever signing of a marriage license in the Dream Hearse!

(Thanks to the Universal Life Church, I could have married them in there too.)

Congratulations, Kelcey and Christina!

Labor Day Not-So-Fun

Sunday, September 2nd, 2012

I wanted to write this in a separate post because 99 percent of Labor Day weekend was awesome. I loved being a part of some Seattleites’ special events and helping make their celebrations memorable.

BUT… now I need to address the one percent that is decidedly not awesome.

Rarely do I leave the garage without some impromptu interaction taking place, and that’s fine. Hearses are weird, and the Dream Hearse is really weird. So if I’m out and about, I expect some questions, picture-taking, and gaping-maw gawking. You can’t run around screaming, “Look at me!” and then expect everyone to leave you alone when you want them to (ahem, Kim Karda$hian).

That said, I don’t particularly love when people interrupt me while I’m helping customers, but I understand this is a common problem with any public-facing job. As a former sales associate, bank teller, ice cream scooper, and yes, even sandwich artist, I know interruptions are going to happen and patience is always the best policy.

However, some rubbernecking activities are just plain wrong and unsafe. If I’m going 50 mph on I-90 in the middle of the night, don’t sidle up next to me with a camera pressed against your passenger side window and a flash going off. And when you realize the picture is going to be blurry and unrecognizable (because we’re on the fucking highway at nighttime), don’t hang back and get cozy in my blind spot, shining your headlights in my rear view mirror for five miles. When I slow down further to pull over and get away from your nonsense, don’t keep pace with me, causing everyone behind you to slam on their brakes even though they have a reasonable expectation to go the speed limit in the middle lane!

Yeah, it’s not the end of the world, but I don’t want to be the indirect cause of an accident because someone can’t handle his own vehicle in the presence of an unconventional one. There’s a phone number and a website on the back of the hearse. You can find out more when you’re not in the middle of conducting a two-ton killing machine.

In our day of tiny attention spans, I realize it’s unlikely that the person who sparked this post is going to read this, or even remember that they saw a hearse last night. But if you do, know that you’re also the impetus for the new East Side tag. Congratulations on being another bridge-and-tunnel stereotype.