Archive for the ‘Accessories’ Category

More than a Vehicle

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

Damn skippy! The wookie was a great find at GeekGirlCon and I know he’d fit in the back of the hearse, but this little suction-cupped masterpiece/daily affirmation probably travels better.

Purchased from Ugly Baby Shower Art.

Valentine’s Day in my Grill

Saturday, February 4th, 2012

It’s that rosy, sugary, greeting-card-company-homage-paying time again. Treat your date to something different in the Dream Hearse!

(We’ll see how this rose wreath looks after I spend an hour hurtling down I-5.)

Barbie Dream Idiosyncracies

Monday, December 5th, 2011

Got a new laptop and had to call tech support. We had to repair iTunes, and after we hit the splash screen…

“Are you Barbie Dream Phone?”



“Well, see it’s named after my car…”


“Yeah, that doesn’t make it sound more normal, does it?”

It’s Kind of Like Going to a Party Where Someone’s Wearing Your Dress

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

And you look better in it.

Friday Roundup

Friday, March 18th, 2011

It’s a busy day in Barbieland. After a short drive to the Olympic Fairmont downtown, I tumbled down Jefferson Street to pay my tabs (and my tickets) and order my new personalized plates. Yes, I’m taking the plunge. After a year of indecision, I decided just about anything is better than blah-blah-blah-numbers followed by blah-blah-blah-letters. Shall I spoil the surprise? REALGRL. Go ahead, ask me about Lars.

And yes, I said tickets. Actually, it was just one ticket incurred almost right after I drove the hearse to Seattle and started my business. I parked on First Ave between 3 and 6pm, not noticing the sign amidst the 800 other signs gracing the central portion of the street. And then I put it off because I hate the idea of paying to take up space (which is why I don’t pay cover at clubs). But after a year of rolling up to dozens of parkways and loading zones and camping out for several hours (example forthcoming), 67 bucks is a deal. I really hope I didn’t just jinx myself.

I’ve also been meeting various home repair people lately, and it seems like experience with auto repair is a common precursor to fixing porcelain and plumbing. I don’t usually mention the hearse unless someone asks what I do, but since I tend to be home five days a week, just about everyone asks what I do.

This afternoon I did a brief photoshoot with Chris and his buddy Frogfrog. Chris created a website for Frogfrog, chronicling their adventures around the world. This kid-friendly site includes a “ribbitting” dragging cursor… don’t say I didn’t warn you!

The complete set of pictures is in my web album. Here’s a shot of Frogfrog enjoying the first-class service you would expect to receive in Seattle’s only girlie limo-hearse:

For the two or three of you who read this site but don’t follow me on facebook, I was at the Girl Talk show earlier this week. In addition to taking shitty pictures of the car out front and even shittier pictures of the stage, I wrote a good review of the show. Well, it’s good if you consider the fact I was writing it at 1am, and it’s good in that I enjoyed the show. I managed to drum up some business, dance like my inner raver-kid, and not get towed. Talk about a good night!

If you haven’t heard Girl Talk’s new album, All Day, stop reading this and go get it now! It’s on heavy rotation in the BDH and has something for everyone. Depending on your aural processing abilities, you may want to listen to this in installments.

Lastly, in honor of Barbie’s birthday earlier this month someone posted the age-old graphic of absurd proportions for us to enjoy. As I’ve said before, I can appreciate that Barbie is a toy, and we must suspend our level of disbelief to play in the fantasy world Mattel so generously bestowed upon us. However, due to Barbie’s momentous popularity, the tall, blond image has been ingrained in our minds as being synonymous with beautiful. For shame, America! In my opinion, a fat barbie is not the answer. There’s so much more than fat and thin at play here. For instance, how about a life-sized doll with bangs and a mouth that opens? You don’t have to sacrifice sexiness to get your point across. Besides, HAPPY 2B ME was too long for a Washington state license place.

Driving Around Naked

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

Last week, I got a note from Jacob at the Fireborn Art Center in Fremont telling me the custom pieces he made were ready to be attached to my bows. We removed the bows from the vinyl top on Tuesday to be painted, so I stripped around town for the rest of the week:

Jacob needed to paint the background on each depression so the heads would be a little more noticeable. He tried pink first, but the adhesive wasn’t sticking to the paint as well as he liked, so we went with black, which is fine with me. The final product turned out great:

And since I had to wash the car anyway, I added a little something personal:

I’m not a big UT-Austin sports fan by any means, but I graduated from the school and despite making Seattle my official home, I still miss Austin sometimes. So I thought I’d let people know in the same way everyone likes to advertise their politics, affiliations, and favorite travel destinations: by sticking something to my car and hoping no one steals or defaces it.

It’s a Halloween Miracle!

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

I don’t normally go trolling for DVDs at my local supermarket, but Barbie and the Diamond Castle was at the front of the stack and I swear I heard it say, “Math is hard! Buy me!” As for the other one, if you read my FAQ, you know I’m ga-ga for Ghostbusters. I wish they had made a third one before they got all geriatric. Anyway, these flicks should provide suitable entertainment for all the car-ghosts people keep asking about. I don’t really believe in that stuff, which I think keeps me from crossing the threshold between “silly fun crazy” and “actually crazy”.

It’s What’s Underneath that Matters

Monday, September 20th, 2010

TL;DR: Oooooh, shiny! Scroll down for pictures!

My underbody kit and LED strips from finally arrived in the mail last week, so I called Car Toys to make an appointment to have them installed. I dropped of the car Friday afternoon with plans to pick up my sweet-ass ride on Saturday afternoon.

As planned, I received a call on Saturday at noon. It was Robert at Car Toys telling me the underbody kit is installed, but one of the tubes housing the LEDs is broken. FFFFUUUU! And the LED strips aren’t long enough to run along the top and bottom of the bar/cupholder area like were were expecting. FFFFUUUU more!

I needed to get the car back despite the level of progress because I had a drive on Saturday night. Regardless, I didn’t want to keep my car in a strange place longer than necessary. Out of the 10+ months it was in Glendale, it was being worked on, looked at, or even thought about during maybe two of those months. Obviously, I need not repeat any part of that experience, especially with the stormy Seattle fall season around the corner and my hefty insurance bill.

So I did the two-mile stomp from First Hill to Belltown, and I arrived to find a nice surprise. Robert fixed my broken tube, so the underbody light show looked fantastic. He also repaired the iPod cable connection, which had been acting finnicky. I hadn’t spent much time troubleshooting it since I don’t have an iPod, and I play such good music in my car that no one ever requests that I plug in his/her iPod either.

Anyway, my kit is sick and all of you agree! The lights can flash at different rates or blink to the music, which is pretty cool. I also have a splitter, which would allow for more additions if I happened to come across some pink lights that I could use for accents.

I ordered another flexible strip of white LEDs for the interior, and they’re being rushed here on Wednesday so I can have them installed before the Decibel Festival this weekend. Did I mention I’m driving the Decibel Festival? YES. It will be the best collection of parties Seattle has ever seen. And as you know, it’s about parties.

How do I control all this bigger, brighter mobile fiesta? Meet the newest addition to my dashboard:

I have a remote to power the the lights on and off, as well as change their patterns. I found myself switching patterns a lot during my drive, despite their lack of effect on my passengers. Hell, I can’t even see them unless I pull up next to a car or reflective store window. So pedestrians, I am relying on the reactions displayed on your happy faces, basking in the glow of my unnecessary auto trickery.

The Seattle rain is back with a vengeance, so the outside pictures are limited to the confines of my parking garage:

And of course my new toy lent itself to another awkward show-car conversation before I even left the shop.

Cashier at Car Toys: We don’t get many people asking us to install these.

Me: That’s because they’re illegal in Washington.

Cashier at Car Toys:

Me: Thanks again!

A Three-Day Barbie Extravaganza

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

I attended the hearse club’s big ol’ picnic on the hottest day of the year. I got a sunburn, dozens of compliments, and the usual indignant assertion that my car isn’t a hearse.

I went to Factoria because it was Right There. Like most malls in the Seattle area, it’s laid out all stupid-like, but I had to park in the back of the lot either way. I bought a new pair of shorts and some cups for my upcoming drive:

When I got back to civilization, I rolled by the 12th Avenue Festival. I was thinking of crashing it (figuratively) and promoting the car, but it was at least 90 degrees out. The festival itself was comprised of several dozen uncomfortably hot people milling around on a short block of closed-off street. Meh.

So I went a little further down the road and put some air in my tires. Finally! Do you know how hard it is to find a decently functioning air machine in this town? You’d think I was looking for a hovercraft. Full of eels.

I high-tailed it from Everett down to Rainier Drive and picked up newlyweds Audrey and Liam. I took them to a park. Then I took a picture.

Then a professional photographer took some better pictures, which I’m hoping to receive sometime before I die. I don’t know what it is about photographers being stingy with their pictures, but I’ve run into a LOT of that since I started getting my picture taken all the time.

Me: “Hey, here’s my card. Would you send me the set or a link to it?”

Photographer: “Oh yeah, totally! I’ll do it this week! I’ll do it tomorrow! I’m doing it RIGHT NOW.”

Me: … (No pictures.)

So I took a self-portrait:

Then I headed over to Ballard to visit Josh, owner of the Geo-Duck Underwater Tour yellow submarine looking coolness.

Josh is gonna see about making some pinstripes that match my logo. I was going to have stars placed on the sides (a la the Barbie Dream Shirts), but time has passed, balls were dropped, and I’m moving on.

I also happened to encounter a guy named Jacob who was interested in doing some metal work to Barbify my bow. (That’s the curly thing on the vinyl top that helps charactarize my car as a hearse and not some other type of car with an extended chassis, vinyl top, and curtains.)

It was a pleasure meeting them both and I’m excited to see what comes of it!

I went to traffic court to fight a rash of photographed red-light tickets I received when I first started driving around my neighborhood. That would be First and Capitol, ahem, HILLS. My car is pretty heavy, so it isn’t as easy to accelerate and stop. Add hills and timing becomes even more of the essence. Despite my best attempts to follow the rules, adhering to posted speed limits and obeying traffic signals, I was sensed to have literally crossed a line or three. Funny how I get those pictures back right away.

So how’d it go? Two words: Female judge.

She knocked them down to half-price and I took off at my earliest convenience. But of course there was obligatory conversation.

“THREE? You know the definition of insanity, right?” she said.

First thought: “Expecting you to have a modicum of understanding that these red-light cameras are a waste of resources considering the serious and often fatal accidents that regularly occur on highways that could be made safer by police monitoring?”

Alternative answer: “So you’re saying I can use the insanity plea?”

I would have liked to explain to her how that line of logic is not at all relevant to this situation, but it was not likely to decrease the price of my tickets, so I gave her the answer she wanted: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

(And I imagine I’ve slipped through a few more orange lights that aren’t monitored by cameras and I DID receive different results, i.e. no tickets. Come ON, lady.)

When I got home, I ordered new pirate-themed BDH magnets from Vistaprint for Talk Like A Pirate Day next month. Y’ar, it’s gonna be a fun one! (Incidentally, I’ve been using Vistaprint for little jobs like this for years and they are fantastic!)

Big Bonus Wednesday
I saw the chicken truck on my way to Everett again. This time, some of the chickens appeared to be alive and flapping. Maybe they were all just sleeping last time.

Also, I finally made the call and turned Admir’s debt over to a collection agency. I am sick of dealing with this whole mess. If you want to know what the hell I’m talking about, you can read back through my summer 2009 posts, but if you’re just joining me, I wouldn’t bother. It’s a common and tiresome story, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Here’s to calmer seas ahead!

Thar Be Contrast Ahead

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

Who doesn’t love a good pirate-themed parade? And I didn’t even have to pillage and plunder to be invited to drive in this one!

Thanks to my new friend Shyster for my excellent Barrrrrbie Jolly Roger!