Archive for the ‘Cadillac’ Category

Hearst World Problems

Monday, November 7th, 2011

Terrible injustices are taking place:

1. I found myself at the front of a four-car pile-up while driving my body shop’s loaner car. (I am not at fault.) Some say I was lucky not to have been driving the BDH when it happened. How is it lucky to be stuck in Everett for two hours while the police fill out paperwork?

2. I recently learned that the Russians sometimes transport their dead in buses. How do they decide who gets to sit up front?

3. I went to the Seattle Auto Show and there were no Cadillac Ciels for me to sit in. How have they not started building these damn cars?

4. It’s hearse, not hearst. How did you get through this post without calling, texting, and/or visiting me personally to tell me what a horrible mistake I made?

Halloween Weekend Wrap-Up

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Yes, there’s nothing quite like driving a custom hearse around town on Halloween. Even the grinchiest sugar busters manage to crack a smile when I drive by. Of course, people have been constantly telling me I “look ready for Halloween” even though I’m driving my normal car and wearing my normal clothes, but the misunderstanding is a small price to pay for the amount of fun I’m having driving Seattle’s finest eccentrics.

Kicking things off was an 80s retro Halloween wedding. First, I drove the bride’s party to Georgetown:

And came back for the groomsmen:

I also drove a scary cool lady and her date to the Bonanza Bash at the EMP:

When I pulled up, I saw a guy with a late model red Cadillac CTS, fully open and showcasing what I would guess was an after-market stereo. Sure, it was pimp… if you like doing things the easy way. Should circumstances compel me to retire Barbie in the next few years, I’m holding out for a Ciel. It’s the perfect combination of my favorite things: Cadillacs, convertibles, and things that no one else has.

Incidentally, my under carriage lights were in full effect nearly all weekend. They add a little something extra when I park, but I usually turn them off when driving because there’s still a law on the books against them. Sometimes I forget. Usually it’s no big deal, but this time I made it all the way to the highway with my blue lights flashing to the beat of my stereo. The reminder came when some drunk actually pulled over, mistaking me for some kind of old-school cop. Good times!

On Sunday, I drove a costume party to a fancy dinner in Kirkland. I managed to capture a small ninja who was otherwise hidden from view:

I celebrated the grand finale on Monday at the Neumos Halloween Party. They gave me a bunch of drink tickets to hand out at my discretion, just in case driving a hearse on Halloween didn’t attract enough attention. The weather was cold but clear, so I spent most of my time outside bullshitting and taking pictures of and with people in the hearse:

View all the pictures!

A Little Late

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

In the beginning, Kat had an idea. It was a harebrained idea to create a life-size manifestation of a simple play on words.

On the first day of April, Kat purchased a 1992 Cadillac Brougham Superior hearse and said, “Let us create the Barbie Dream Hearse.” And it was good.

On the second day, Kat conducted one final online search for all references to any vehicle hinting a relation to Barbie, hearses, and even dreams. No combination of qualities existed to the magnitude required to deter her from purchasing the domain, barbiedreamhearse.com. And it was good.

And on the third day, someone across the country took a picture of a beautiful classic pink Caddy with suicide doors, coined it Barbie’s Little Dream Hearse, and received electronic fellatio by the dozens. And it was… a little surprising. So much for having a somewhat original idea…

(If you check out the page, he took the picture literally two days after I bought my car. It’s uncanny how closely timed these events are. I feel silly for admitting this, but if the chronology were reversed, I would feel kind of bad.)