Archive for the ‘Hearses’ Category

Hearst World Problems

Monday, November 7th, 2011

Terrible injustices are taking place:

1. I found myself at the front of a four-car pile-up while driving my body shop’s loaner car. (I am not at fault.) Some say I was lucky not to have been driving the BDH when it happened. How is it lucky to be stuck in Everett for two hours while the police fill out paperwork?

2. I recently learned that the Russians sometimes transport their dead in buses. How do they decide who gets to sit up front?

3. I went to the Seattle Auto Show and there were no Cadillac Ciels for me to sit in. How have they not started building these damn cars?

4. It’s hearse, not hearst. How did you get through this post without calling, texting, and/or visiting me personally to tell me what a horrible mistake I made?

In Soviet Russia, Hearse Drivers Find YOU

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

Thanks to Google Translator and the Internet, I was able to receive and understand a fan letter all the way from Russia! (And it’s not even spam!) These pictures are from Victor, who works for a funeral company. Naturally, I had a million questions for him and don’t speak Russian, so we’ll see if I get a response. Either way, I’m happy to admire this lovely Cadi in its home across the pond!

Geaux Custom Hearses!

Monday, October 17th, 2011

Not many people know this about me, but I spent two years living in Baton Rouge attending LSU. Living on the edge of civilization was neat for awhile, but obviously I had to keep on truckin’. Someone I met at Geek Girl Con tipped me off about this beautiful custom LSU tailgating hearse. (Thanks, Chris!) I hope to see in person one day, even though it would mean attending a football game.

No kidding, it has a coffin, which of course contains booze. It would be cool to do the same thing with Barbie, but then I wouldn’t have room to put all the people needed to consume it.

Even though I graduated from UT-Austin and have no reservations about advertising this fact (scroll down), I still love the tiger fans and enjoy the occasional offbeat LSU story. Yes, they’re rival teams. But somehow I manage to identify with more than one thing without feeling personally conflicted. Not being into sports helps.

Pro-Car Show at Triple X in April

Saturday, February 5th, 2011

These are always a good time, even if you’re not into cars. At the very least, you can suck down one of the greatest milkshakes in the PacNW and get a gumball from the giant machine.

I’ll be sending out more reminders as the date nears.

My Band of Wild Hearses

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

The Rain City Hearse Club had a photo shoot at Tacoma Cemetery this weekend, and we had 10 coaches in attendance&mdasha new record for us, I think! We also had a gaggle of zombie models, a sadistically awesome clown, and eight photographers. Three of them were mine, because driving all the way to Tacoma is Serious Business.

Highlights included meeting Pandora for the first time and seeing my Bremerton brethren so we could continue basking in the glory of small town fame garnered by the wildly popular Silverlake Whaling Days Parade. I also got to eat a cupcake, and I hear the pictures of that are even better than the related video, but I’ll believe it when I see it.

So I’m clearly not as dark and scary as my cohorts, and I’m the only one smiling in a lot of these pictures. The sun came out almost the minute I arrived, and my day was filled with junk food and good friends, so yeah, I’m smiling!

The full album from Chad is shared publicly on facebook (no login required). I have a few shots from John posted in the official BDH Picasa web album as well. Pictures should continue rolling in. I’ll just keep grooming while I wait…

98… 99… 100.

Maybe It’s Not So Good to Be King

Monday, April 19th, 2010

The King of Poland’s funeral procession:

Maserati Hearse

For people who like some information with their pictures (ahem, Josh), here’s a post from Autoblog with everything there is to know about the hearsification of the Maserati Quattroporte and related cars.

And a loosely affiliated image that bears reposting:

A Little Late

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

In the beginning, Kat had an idea. It was a harebrained idea to create a life-size manifestation of a simple play on words.

On the first day of April, Kat purchased a 1992 Cadillac Brougham Superior hearse and said, “Let us create the Barbie Dream Hearse.” And it was good.

On the second day, Kat conducted one final online search for all references to any vehicle hinting a relation to Barbie, hearses, and even dreams. No combination of qualities existed to the magnitude required to deter her from purchasing the domain, barbiedreamhearse.com. And it was good.

And on the third day, someone across the country took a picture of a beautiful classic pink Caddy with suicide doors, coined it Barbie’s Little Dream Hearse, and received electronic fellatio by the dozens. And it was… a little surprising. So much for having a somewhat original idea…

(If you check out the page, he took the picture literally two days after I bought my car. It’s uncanny how closely timed these events are. I feel silly for admitting this, but if the chronology were reversed, I would feel kind of bad.)

Barbie’s Brother from Another Mother

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Voodoo hearse sighting from a friend in New Orleans:

Rain City Hearse Club Meetup

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

After being in the Rain City Hearse Club for almost a year, I attended my first meetup today at Poodle Dog in Tacoma. Even if I had been in town for any of the prior meetups, I probably wouldn’t have gone without a hearse. Judging from the low turnout and the emails from non-attendees that followed, it’s an understandable sentiment.

Rick, Frank, Mike, and I met with Troy, who is organizing this year’s Crypticon in Everett. He gave us an overview of the event and how we could help. Since I have a hearse that is outfitted specifically to transport people, I’ll be making airport runs before settling into my booth at the convention.

Although I have a pretty good idea of what I want to wear, there was talk of giving me a full-on gothing. I’ve always gotten by wearing relatively little makeup, and I’m not even sure that goth makeup would look right on someone with my facial features, but I’m open to whatever people want to do. It’s not like I have a personal conflict with scaring small children. Plus, Troy is planning to have Chuckles DeClown greet guests at the airport, so it would be nearly impossible to be the freakiest-looking person there.

They’re expecting about 5,000 people to attend for three days of shows, activities, and partying, so I think this will be an fun chance to make some contacts and promote the car. If you were too lazy to click the Crypticon link, it runs June 18-20. Folks in the Seattle area: Come out for at least one of the days and say hi!

A New Frank

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

Rick from the Rain City Hearse Club recommended L-M Body Shop on our discussion forum right around the time I returned to Seattle. In the back of my mind, I was planning to look for someone as patient and skilled as Frank to help maintain the car once I got up here, but I wasn’t looking forward to the arduous task of finding the phantom “perfect shop”.

Of course, I found myself needing some minor body work and door lock repairs almost immediately, so I took the car in last week. Since I never had a car up here, I wouldn’t have known where to go if Rick hadn’t said something about L-M out of the blue.

Dave, the owner, was relaxed and pleasant to do business with. He was happy to hear Rick recommended him and to have the opportunity to work on my (now) one-of-a-kind hearse. This was a huge relief, as I’d half-expect a “WTF” reaction from the average body shop, not to mention a stiff “female tax” when the bill came.

All of Dave’s employees were enthusiastic and complimentary of the car. They seemed quite knowledgeable of older and custom cars, and happy with their jobs in general, which I think says a lot. His wife, Tami, runs the office, and she’s very nice and well organized.

They had my driver’s side rear door looking like new by the deadline quoted, and they fixed the passenger side door lock so it would actually lock when I used the remote. I had to leave LA in a hurry, so I didn’t get to test everything I wanted to before I left. It is such a relief to have a good, reliable shop up here since I can’t visit Frank and his people.

The man who drove me to and from home while they worked on my car, Luis, was friendly and gave me some good tips for cleaning my car. (Did I mention they detailed my car when they were done working on it? How awesome is that?) Although we spoke English the whole time, he did a great job of filling Pablo’s shoes.

When we arrived at the shop, I saw a light blue ’86 Lincoln hearse parked next to my Barbie Dream Hearse.

“Did you get my car a boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?” I exclaimed as I walked into the office.

Rick found out from Dave that I would be picking up the car that day and wanted to see Barbie for himself. He (like many other car enthusiasts) was wary of the girlie limo seating idea, but admitted that it was well executed and perfect for what I want to do. And, his car is also a girl, so I guess Barbie’s gonna swing both ways.

I ended up going back to L-M today because the passenger seatbelt was over-extended, and I thought maybe something had happened when they popped the door off to look at the locks. They took off the door panel and showed me the plastic track that was getting in the way of it catching to allow it to roll back up, and they fixed it about 10 minutes. It wasn’t their fault and they still didn’t charge me, which was really nice of them.

Pictured below is my passenger door with the panel taken off. They mostly just had to cut out that white plastic part and reattach it.

All in all, I can’t believe how lucky I got when it came to this particular to-do item. If only everything could be this easy!