Weaving in Seattle: DON’T

Yesterday I was hearsalin’ down Westlake Ave to Fremont, like I do. Left lane, going 40 in a 35. (Call the cops!)

A fat man in a large pickup truck could not handle my crawling pace and made a big show of passing me. As he pulled his fat ass into my lane, he stuck his fat finger out his window and pointed at it, indicating that my offensively slow hearse should not be there.

He’s going to roll coal, I thought. He’s gonna do it. Right here in Seattle. Pack up your shit, everyone. It’s over.

That’s MY stereotype, I guess. He didn’t do that. #NotAllFatMenInTrucksRollCoal

Moments later (10 seconds max), we found ourselves at the Westlake/Dexter/Nickerson/4th Ave N/Fremont Bridge interchange (because city make teh streets gud).

As anyone could predict, passing me saved him no time. Fatass sat fuming at the Nickerson light while I smoothly veered toward the bridge onramp. I gave him a friendly wave good-bye as I did so.

Moral of the story: On surface roads, especially here, there’s no benefit to weaving because you’re going to hit a 5-way stop, turn, water, congestion, etc before you can pick up enough speed to reach your destination noticeably sooner.

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